Hands down, all healing starts with forgiveness!
Withholding forgiveness and holding onto anger and resentment seem to be things that will block complete healing – I have seen it over and over again. These negative emotions are a poison that slowly eats away at the person – at such a cellular level – that the only one who ends up hurt is the one that keeps the anger close in their heart, not the person that all the negativity is directed towards!
What I have learned from my own journey of complete healing is that not only do these feeling stop the body from healing but are oftentimes the deep root cause and source of an illness be it a stomach issue, arthritis or even cancer!
It is much easier to point out shortcomings in others than to take a long hard look at ourselves and see our own problems. It’s hard to admit that we are not perfect and to dive deep into our past and present, but from my experience, without doing this, there is no healing.
When I got my diagnosis of breast cancer, I had to make up my mind that I was going to live – not die – and part of deciding to live meant that I had to take a hard look at myself and realize that the deep rooted anger and resentment that I had festering inside of me was minimizing the loving, caring person that I truly was.
All of these feelings had to be taken out, examined and dealt with. Once I did that, I was able to find love, compassion, and total forgiveness in my heart toward my father. In fact, the picture is the two of us dancing and having fun for the first time since I was a little girl. What was most important was that I wasn’t afraid of what he would do next and this is how I want and choose to feel free. I choose to be able to have relationships with people that I love more than anyone else on Earth. After all, my parents are only human and all of us make our own mistakes!
How do you forgive? One bite at a time – that’s how! Remember, the body is a servant of the mind so saying something enough times means that you will eventually begin to believe it. Start off by saying “I forgive you” – even if it is just to yourself. It takes time, sometimes a really long time, but eventually you will truly forgive that person and you will know it has happened when you can think and see that person with feelings of love rather than the previous anger and resentment. I know it sounds hokey, but it does work. When Peter asked “Lord how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.” Forgiveness takes time and work.
Forgiveness is not forgetting. In fact, one must acknowledge negative emotions and events before forgiveness can occur. Forgiveness is not pardoning, excusing or saying that the offense will be treated as acceptable behavior in the future either. You absolutely do not have to even have a relationship with the people that you have forgiven. Most of the time, the people in question have no idea how we feel about them nor do they even care.
Try to remember that forgiveness is for you – not for them. Forgiveness can break patterns that would otherwise interfere with future relationships but first and foremost, Forgiveness is freedom!
